from my neck to my waist
all along my back
pearly pink trails
left behind by lust filled fingers.

the look in your eyes
merely inspired me to go on
pulling in and out
teasing and pleasing
dusk and dawn.

bitemarks and moans
arched backs and explorations
my tongue goes to work
giving has never felt so wonderful.

sucking
biting
licking
getting
giving

a taste so beautiful
a touch so mesmerizing
skin so enticing
a weekend wonderful.

i am left with no regrets and no doubts
no reason to leave you or skip-out
nothing but pleasure, lusting thoughts
and a bit of disappointment in the lack of time.

you left me wanting more.
oh how i wish i could have it.

breaking glass in the form of hearts
my head is aching with guilt.

bleeding wrists and broken necks seduce me in my darkest fantasies.

smiles of classic beauty and tears praying crimson.
beating my knees in hopes for comfort.

beauty in the form of pain
it's almost like sunshine in the form of rain.

with horror comes hope.
with blood comes refuge.

from the hole in my chest
flows a strange and unnatural black stream.
let it stain your hands as it heads for the carpet.

as it creeps down the hallways...
let it infect.

the love was a delicacy
but the after taste is stale.

what was once forever
has turned to yesterday
and i am tired of looking back.

i do miss you
and i do still love you
but i can't reach
for a heart that isn't there.

i handed mine to you
and you took it greedily
not even offering up yours
not even wandering
how i felt after that.

i can't believe you lied to me
telling me you loved me
taking away my innocence
before i had a chance to agree.

as i look back at you
i smile.

"tell her she's lucky."

my insufficiency is beginning to overwhelm
creating holes in my brain and working it's way through my eyes

i take notice of the metallic tast on my lips.

my tears are turning red
a side-affect of my new medication
they stain my cheeks and my palms

in the twitch of an eye
my life-line disappears
i stare at my hands in disbelief

what would she say of this?
nothing i suspect
not a single sound.

i feel something wet taveling down my chest
the knives in my back have finally made their way to the other side
i'm not suprised considering the amount of force applied

i walk outside
hoping the rain will somehow cleanse my soul
i spin and twirl trying to convey happiness
i hit the ground
i hear a thud and then a crack.

i feel my head to calculate the damage
my skull is cracked and the blood is pouring.

how beautiful, i think.
this immortal love has affected my life as well.

i stand back up and walk down the street

the rain stings my skin as i take off my jacket
my security blanket is now gone.
i take off my shirt as well.

just a lonely, love-sick teenage girl
walking down the city streets.
no shoes, no shirt

the rain becomes too acidic
and begins to eat away at my skin.
little read ditches running along my skin.

after a few minutes they have all run together
my insides now visible to all who wish to look.

a pulsing headache keeps my attention
while you scream at me.
every now and then you throw in a few punches
even kicked me once.

the love that i once believed
to have set me free
i now realize is my prison.

your abuse creates bars that block me from the world
your love does the same.

i still can't figure out if i want to leave you
to banish you from existence
i have yet to decide
if i would rather be alone
or with you.

i begin to cry as i realize what i  must do.
i'm sure i can deal with the consequences...
i'm strong enough.
you even told me so once.

i sit at my vanity
to cover up the bruises and cuts

you told me you wanted to go out.

"make sure to be pretty; we're going dancing"

i look in the mirror and practice my fake smile.
the one that assures you i won't try and run.

because i won't, you see
i love you too much.

my mascara begins to run...
it'll do that alot
i'm sure.

between my death and now
i have maybe a few years.

i don't plan on leaving you
i care too much.

i let go of my fears...

my insides have been inverted
my eyes have been gouged out
my heart is beating faster;
i can't wait 'til you find out.

there's this secret i've been hiding.
only a chosen few have heard.
it's not what you'd think it'd be.

oh no.
it's far, far worse.

you couldn't understand;
at least i hope you can't.

i would hate for you to have to go through the pain
what i've already been through.

i wouldn't wish it upon my most damned enemies
let alone a friend...
family...
someone i hope to be.

i hope you live your life w/o knowing what i speak of.

it would be a sad discussion
and i would hate to have to give up.

my secret lies alone...
in the darkest depths of my forsaken soul.